Tuesday, June 9, 2009
In a hard spot....
For the first time in a while, I am posting with no pictures or Emily updates, just some thoughts to get off my chest. When we started this blog it was shortly after Emily was born, and was a place to record the events leading up to her existence and her ensuing life. And it has served this purpose well. But part of me is torn, and I just really need to get these thoughts out somewhere. We have 2 good couple friends of ours who are struggling with infertility and going through treatments to get pregnant with baby #1. While none of them have ever said anything to us, or ever would, just because they are wonderful people, I feel an incredible sense of guilt at times, that we have Emily, and that even though we went through treatments to get her, our road was much easier than so many others. I know they all love Emily dearly, but I also know that every time we see them, or every time they come to the blog, they are going to be reminded of their pain. I wish I knew the words to say, or how to comfort them, knowing that at times, we bring them pain that no one should feel. My heart breaks, becuase I have been there, and know their pain, but also know I can't take it away, no matter how much I desire to. I wish I had all the answers, but I don't. If any of you are reading this (you know who you are!) please know that it is one of my deepest desires for you to feel the joy that comes with a child and you are in my prayers every single day! And we will totally understand if you need to at times distance from us because of the struggles occuring in your own lives! Love and prayers to you all!
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1 comment:
Sarah, what a wonderful and generous heart you have! To feel and understand all that is going on with our infertility journey is touching. It has always been my prayer that others would empathize, but not be burdened by our struggle. Your friendship and understanding is what helps us keep moving forward with hope. Although all of our fertility journeys are different, they all bring pain, disappointment and frustration....but bring joy and blessing in the end...whatever the outcome. Your journey has helped inspire mine. Please know that your friendship and the blessing you have received in Emily is just that for us, a blessing. Being with children and families is a reminder to me of the hand of God and His eternal promise to us. Your presence, and your daughter's are a light to me....and will continue to give me hope for the days ahead. Thank you for your continued love and prayers. I am sure all of this will only draw us closer.... Thanks for sharing your story, both the hurt and the joy with us! All our love.
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